TOUCHED
Page 1
Panel 1 - Establishing shot of St. John's Psychiatric Hospital. It's a large, three-story building, wings branching off here and there. The grounds are full of trees and bushes, trying to convey a pleasant, restful feel that's broken by the harshness and sharp angles of the building itself. If you can find some way to get a sign in here with the hospital's name on it, great. If not, we can just have a caption. It's mid-afternoon, sunny, only a few wispy clouds in the sky.
Caption: ST. JOHN'S PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL
Williams (from within): DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THESE DREAMS YOU'RE HAVING, BOBBY?
Title and credits
Panel 2 - Inside the hospital now. We're in one of the interview rooms. It's cool and sterile, white walls and tile floor, something straight out of the movies. This is a nice wide shot, a side view of the two occupants seated across a table from one another. On the left is the patient, Bobby Hendricks. He's in his early twenties, thin, almost to the point of being frail. His brown hair is in need of a trim, often falling down into his eyes, and right now it's unkempt, as if he just got out of bed. His whole bearing is of being tired, haggard, hollow. He's dressed in a t-shirt, sweat pants, and socks. He's sitting up in his chair, slouching forward slightly. His hands and forearms shouldn't be visible, hidden beneath the table in his lap, perhaps. He's got bandages on both wrists from having sliced them, but I'd rather this not be visible as much as possible. If shown, it's subtle. We'll have the big reveal later, as you'll see. Anyway, Bobby is frowning across the table at the psychiatrist, Dr. Williams. Williams is a handsome guy in his mid-thirties, with dark eyes, and dark hair that's receding rapidly. He's dressed in a white button down shirt, loose in the collar, no tie, and dark slacks. On the chair behind him is his suit jacket, matching the slacks. In his breast pocket there's a pen or two. He's looking calmly back at Bobby, maybe smiling slightly in an effort to be reassuring. On the table before him is a manila file folder (closed) and a leather-bound notebook (open) with a pen resting on the paper. Williams' hands are clasped together on the table. In the background, the observation mirror makes up part of the far wall.
Bobby: THEY'RE NOT DREAMS. THEY'RE DIFFERENT.
Bobby: THEY'RE…I DON'T KNOW…MORE. MORE THAN JUST DREAMS.
Williams: VISIONS?
Bobby: MAYBE. I DON'T KNOW.
Panel 3 - Bobby's POV, looking across the table at Williams. Williams smiles crookedly as he looks straight at Bobby (us).
Williams: DO YOU WANT TO TELL ME ABOUT THEM?
Bobby (off-panel): NOT REALLY, BUT YOU'RE NOT GONNA LET ME GO UNTIL I DO, RIGHT?
Williams: MAYBE.
Panel 4 - Now Williams' POV, looking at Bobby. Bobby's staring down at the table, maybe off to one side. Behind him we can see the door leading in to the interview room, closed.
Bobby: IT'S JUST, I DON'T KNOW, LIKE A FEELING. A FEELING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.
Williams (off-panel): SOMETHING LIKE WHAT?
Panel 5 - Close in on Bobby's face, his expression a mixture of frustration and sadness.
Bobby: DEATH.
Bobby: SOMEBODY'S DEATH.
Bobby: THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT.
Page 2
Panel 1 - Okay, all the panels on this page are the same shot-Williams' POV looking across the table at Bobby-so I'm thinking three rows of two panels each. So, in this one, Bobby's frowning, still not looking at Williams, his brows knitting together in a hint of irritation as he struggles to put his thoughts into words.
Williams (off): YOU'RE SEEING SOMEBODY'S DEATH?
Bobby: NO, NOT SEEING. IT'S…I DON'T KNOW.
Williams (off): FEELING? FEELING SOMEONE'S DEATH?
Panel 2 - Bobby straightens up a bit, glaring at Williams as his irritation spills out. If we could see under the table his hands would be spread out, palms up as if saying, "What do you want from me?" Just to give you an idea.
Bobby: LOOK, I JUST KNOW, OKAY?
Bobby: SEE, FEEL, WHATEVER. I KNOW WHEN SOMEONE'S GOING TO DIE.
Bobby: ANYONE I COME INTO CONTACT WITH-I KNOW HOW THEY'RE GOING TO DIE. I KNOW WHEN THEY'RE GOING TO DIE.
Panel 3 - Bobby stares sulkily back at Williams, arms folded across his chest.
Williams (off): GO ON.
Bobby: YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME.
Williams (off): I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
Bobby: BUT YOU DON'T. NOBODY DOES.
Panel 4 - Bobby leans forward as if imparting some confidential matter to Williams. His expression is angry, intense. Maybe his hands are on the edge of the table.
Bobby: LOOK, THOSE TWO GUYS WHO BROUGHT ME IN HERE, THOSE ORDERLIES?
Bobby: THE ONE GUY, MIKE? IN TWO YEARS HE'S GONNA BLOW A BLOOD VESSEL IN HIS BRAIN.
Bobby: A NURSE IS GONNA FIND HIM DEAD ON THE FLOOR IN A POOL OF HIS OWN BLOOD.
Panel 5 - Same shot.
Bobby: YEAH, AND HE'S THE LUCKY ONE.
Bobby: THE OTHER GUY, CECIL? IN A MONTH-AND-A-HALF, HE'S GONNA PISS OFF SOME GUY IN A BAR AND WIND UP WITH A KNIFE IN HIS THROAT.
Panel 6 - Bobby slumps back in his chair, the anger dissipating as he stares forlornly off to one side.
Bobby: I KNOW THIS. EVERY TIME THEY TOUCH ME I FEEL IT.
Bobby: EVERY TIME ANYONE TOUCHES ME, I FEEL HOW THEY'RE GOING TO DIE. I KNOW.
Bobby (small): AND I CAN'T MAKE IT STOP.
Page 3
Panel 1 - Side view of the two of them, Williams on the left, Bobby on the right. Williams is concerned, yet interested as he has leaned forward, pen in one hand ready to write. Bobby looks down at his lap.
Williams: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HAVING THESE…VISIONS OR WHATEVER THEY ARE?
Bobby: ALMOST TWO-AND-A-HALF YEARS. EVER SINCE THIS ACCIDENT I HAD.
Williams: WHAT HAPPENED?
Panel 2 - Okay, we're moving into a flashback here. Maybe there's some way of having the previous panel bleed into this one for a nice, smooth transition. I dunno. Anyway, we're looking at a car driving down a highway. An old car, maybe a Ford Probe or something. The kind of car a guy in college with no money would drive. It's late, after midnight, and there's almost no one else on the road. We're in mid-winter here, snow covering the ground, ice on the highway. It's snowing. Off to one side, beyond the shoulder of the highway and a slight embankment is a heavily wooded area. There's no guardrail.
Panel 3 - Closing in on the interior of the car so we get a nice shot of Bobby behind the wheel, his friend, Darren, in the passenger seat next to him. Darren has curled up in the seat and is sleeping. He's not wearing his seatbelt. Bobby stares ahead through the windshield, looking sort of numb and tired as if he's been driving for a really long time-which he has. His hair is shorter, neater, his face fuller showing us that he's lost weight. Bobby is wearing his seatbelt.
Panel 4 - Small panel here, showing one of the tires slipping on a patch of ice.
Panel 5 - The car fishtails big time, the back end coming around as the front of the car noses toward the shoulder.
Page 4
Panel 1 - The car, having done a 180, goes off the highway sideways and starts to roll as it goes down the embankment.
Panel 2 - The car continues to tumble, glass shattering, pieces of metal flying off of it, until…
Panel 3 - …the car slams into tree. The car is upside down, the passenger side up against the tree.
Panel 4 - We're looking at the driver's side of the car, all beat up, the windows shattered. Bobby is hanging upside down, still strapped in by the seatbelt. There's no airbag. Beyond him, we can see that the passenger seat is empty, Darren having been tossed from the car when it rolled. (Don't know if we should show that happening or not.)
Caption (Bobby): THE DOCTOR SAID IT WAS A WONDER I MADE IT.
Page 5
Panel 1 - Close up on Bobby's face, upside-down, bruised and bloodied, his eyes closed.
Caption (Bobby): ALL THE BLOOD I LOST, THE INTERNAL INJURIES…
Panel 2 - Same shot as his eyes open.
Caption (Bobby): HE SAID IT WAS A MIRACLE.
Panel 3 - Bobby's POV, looking back toward the highway. We see his friend's body, just a lump in the snow. Kneeling over the body is Death, just a vague, pale figure of shimmering silver light. No definite features, but it's clear that the figure is female. (No goth stuff or ankhs. I'm already too close to borrowing from Neil Gaiman as it is.) Maybe we can see dark eyes, but that's all. Death has one hand one the guy's chest, the other on his forehead.
Caption (Bobby): I USED TO THINK SO, TOO.
Caption (Bobby): NOW I KNOW BETTER.
Panel 4 - Death rises from the body and starts toward Bobby.
Panel 5 - Looking up at Death as she kneels before Bobby and reaches a shimmery hand toward him.
Panel 6 - Looking past Death now as she places a hand on Bobby's cheek. It's a gentle touch, almost affectionate, the way you'd put your hand on the cheek of a significant other.
Panel 7 - Close up of Bobby's face. Death has gone, leaving Bobby hanging there, his mouth hanging open, eyes wide and staring, full of horror and awe.
Caption (Bobby): SHE JUST WASN'T READY TO TAKE ME YET.
Caption (Williams): WHO WASN'T READY TO TAKE YOU?
Caption (Bobby): DEATH.
Page 6
Panel 1 - Back to the side view of the two of them. Williams has his pen in his hand, head bowed as he furiously jots down notes.
Williams: DEATH IS A SHE?
Bobby (off): YEAH..
Williams: OKAY. WHY WASN'T…SHE…READY TO TAKE YOU?
Bobby(off): BECAUSE IT'S NOT MY TIME YET.
Williams: I SEE. DO YOU KNOW WHEN THAT TIME IS?
Bobby (off): …
Williams: BOBBY?
Panel 2 - Same angle. Close in on Bobby. He's turned away from Williams to stare at the observation mirror. In the background, we see the mirror with Bobby's reflection staring back at us. His face is tight, the same almost-pained look on his face.
Bobby: MAY 2, 2024.
Bobby: PANCREATIC CANCER.
Bobby: I'M GONNA DIE IN A HOSPITAL BED.
Bobby: ALONE.
Panel 3 - Another two-shot of them, here. Williams on the left, Bobby on the right.
Williams: IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY, DOES IT?
Williams: I MEAN, SINCE YOU KNOW WHAT'S AHEAD OF YOU, MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE IT.
Panel 4 -
Bobby: NO. IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT.
Bobby: WHEN IT'S YOUR TIME, SHE'S GONNA COME FOR YOU-
Bobby: -AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
Williams (off): HOW DO YOU KNOW?
Panel 5 - Williams' POV as Bobby, suddenly angry, leans forward and thrusts his hands towards Williams (us). His hands are clenched into fists, the palms upward as he displays his bandaged wrists.
Bobby: BECAUSE I'VE TRIED, YOU ASSHOLE!
Bobby: WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING HERE?
Page 7
Panel 1 - Same shot, only Bobby's fists are now resting on the table in front of him.
Bobby: YOU THINK I WANT TO SPEND EVERY DAY LOOKING FORWARD TO A PAINFUL DEATH?
Bobby: YOU THINK I WANT TO SEE SOMEONE ELSE'S DEATH EVERY TIME THEY TOUCH ME?
Panel 2 - Bobby leans back in his chair, looks away. He's upset, on the verge of tears.
Bobby: SHE WON'T TAKE ME.
Bobby: SHE WOULDN'T TAKE ME WHEN SHE TOOK DARREN. SHE WON'T TAKE ME NOW.
Panel 3 - Pull back and maybe up a bit so were looking down at Bobby. He looks very small and alone, sad and afraid, which is exactly how he feels.
Bobby: NOT UNTIL IT'S TIME.
Panel 4 - Bobby's POV. Williams closes his notebook, giving Bobby another reassuring smile.
Williams: OKAY, BOBBY. I THINK THAT'LL BE ENOUGH FOR TODAY.
Williams: WE CAN TALK SOME MORE TOMORROW, ALL RIGHT?
Page 8
Panel 1 - Same shot as the last one on the previous page. Williams leans back in his chair as he slips his pen into his breast pocket next to the others. He smiles crookedly, one eyebrow arched in curiosity.
Williams: BOBBY?
Williams: WHEN WE SHOOK HANDS EARLIER, DID YOU SEE MY DEATH?
Williams: DO YOU KNOW WHEN I'M MEANT TO DIE?
Panel 2 - Williams' POV. Bobby has risen and looks sadly back at Williams. Behind Bobby the door has opened and the two orderlies, Mike and Cecil, have entered.
Bobby: I DON'T THINK YOU'LL LIKE THE ANSWER.
Panel 3 - Same shot as Mike and Cecil lead Bobby toward the door. Bobby's back is to us, but he turns his head to talk over his shoulder to Williams.
Bobby: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BY THE WAY.
Panel 4 - Shot of Williams, looking confused.
Williams: HOW DID YOU-
Panel 5 - Same shot as panels 2 and 3 as the door slams closed.
Caption: END.
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